Saturday, February 13, 2010

Jack Bauer as a Pastor


My dad emailed this to me . . . I don't know where he got it from, but so true.

The other day I was thinking, what if Jack Bauer became a Christian, and then suddenly felt a call to ministry?

What would his church be like? His counseling sessions? Here’s what I think it would be like…

- Counseling sessions would be fast. Really fast. Because he only has two minutes, and you better tell him what’s going on or he’s going to mash your knee with his oversized Bible.

- He would scream the word “now” a lot. As in, “Tell me why you were impatient with your wife. NOW!”

- Every counseling session would end with a confession, because Pastor Jack can pull a confession out of anybody. Even if you didn’t do it.

- In every elders meeting Jack would inform the elders that “he did what he had to”.

- He would answer every theological question the same way: “It’s complicated…”

- He would probably fake his death several times as sermon illustrations.

- Scripture references in sermons would be called “backup”.

- The church would meet in an abandoned warehouse. The ushers would also be snipers and would establish a perimeter around the building.

- At least three times a week Jack would be misunderstood by his congregation and have to go “dark” until he could clear his name.

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Girl's Soccer Team




Yesterday our girls soccer team defeated its arch-rival, Milken, for the first time in team history. What a great game! Here's a little slideshow of pictures.

Monday, January 18, 2010

The New Year, Sort Of . . .


Remember, only a few short years ago, all the fears of Y2K?

"Every computer in the world will shut down."

"Life as we know it will end."

No one knew, though everyone claimed to, what would happen the moment the clock changed from 12/31/99 to 1/1/00. My only memory of that moment was that somehow I was driving when the clock changed. What was I doing on the road for the final minutes of the twentieth century? That I'm not sure. I remember where I was though. I had just merged onto the empty stretch of I-79 north of the Crafton Exit. I turmed the radio on. I watched as the digital clock in my Buick Regal switched from 11:58 to 11:59. Of course the clock wasn't exactly aligned to Eastern Standard time. I guessed the eastern seaboard would step into the new century a few seconds before the car's clock would. Moments before the big change I suddenly wondered if the car would shut down when the clock switched. Would I see nuclear explosions light the distant horizon? Would house lights flicker off around me? Just as those thoughts flowed through my mind the radio commentator began the final ten second count.

10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6- Should I start slowing down the car in case it turns off? - 3 - 2 - 1- HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I waited for a long moment, my eyes scanning the horizon for billowing mushroom clouds.

Nothing happened. The car clock flipped to 12:00 a few seconds later and still nothing happened. A part of me was a little disappointed. I wanted something, anything to happen for all the stupid commentary that had filled airways for the previous twelve months.

Still nothing took place. The radio promised an upcoming performance of Creed, and I turned it off. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts.

It was the year 2000. Here we were beginning not only a brand new year, not only a brand new decade or even century- we were bringing in a new millennium. How many times had that happened in world history? Six? Ten? Who knows. I reflected on the privilege of living through such an occurrence. I remember my wry smile and quiet laugh at bringing in a new year, decade, century, millennium by myself on I-79 in a Buick Regal. My goodness, the least I could do for such a momentous planetary occasion was find some cute girl to kiss.

Then my thoughts moved to the future. What would this coming decade hold for me? I remember thinking this exact thought. "I wonder where I'll be in ten years? I wonder what my life will look like in 2010?"

Well, here I am ten years later. Strange that as I sit and type this in Panera (a restaurant I'd never even heard of in 1999) I'd hear the song "How Great Thou Art" on my iPod (an invention no one had thought of in 1999). God truly has been great to me over the last ten years. He brought me debt-free through five years of college. He placed me at a wonderful ministry in Butler, PA for seven years and moved me to another phenomenal ministry this year. God allowed me to visit Suriname, Turkey, Israel, St. Vincent, and Mexico. He opened the door for me to travel across the United States with a drama ministry. God brought a great husband to my sister. He gave them a precious daughter who in only a few months will become a big sister to another baby. God allowed me to work at camp, meet hundreds of new friends, preach at a dozen different churches, minister to countless young people, begin a photography business, and most of all . . . enjoy the sweet presence of Jesus Christ in my life.

It's been a good decade. Through the tears, through the joy, through the doubt, through the victories God has been so good to me.

If God wills it, I'll enjoy the next ten years basking in the goodness of his love.